"Praise Him"

What day is it? Oh yeah, Wednesday, speech therapy day and preschool. My days just seem to run together now! Managing Dash's speech, occupational, and physical therapy is challenging in and of itself, but now we have preschool! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but geesh, i'm worn out! Most days I'm praying "Dear Lord give me energy"!

Since my last blog, Dash has started preschool! He was accepted into the R.E.A.C.H program with the Columbus City Schools! It is a preschool program for kids with autism, every child in the program has autism. The class has about 6 to 7 kids with 2 teachers. He also gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy! We are so happy for this program! A blessing from God! Dash has also started riding the bus, and let me tell you, he loves it!!!! Every day around 12:30 he goes to the door and waits excitedly because he knows the bus is coming! I'm soooo thankful for that, because it makes my job a little easier, more peace of mind!

Its funny how the Lord makes Himself known! Just the other day, I was really discouraged, and sad about Dash's situation. I know I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that he has autism. I have good days and I have hard days. Yesterday, I was having one of those hard days, but the Lord revealed Himself to me! In the form of a license plate! As I was driving down the highway, a car in the lane to my left sped past! I looked down for a moment and saw the license plate, and it simply said "Praise Him". I thought to myself, "Wow"! God is right here with me! He knows what I'm going through! We, as children of Christ, need to look for, and look toward Him in all of life, because He has message for us! It's simple. Praise Him. I will never forget get that day when He picked me up from the depths of despair. Praise Him for your life, your blessings!

My Brain hurts and my Heart is about to explode...

One in every 75 boys are born today with Autism. Staggering numbers, and yet, they just seem to keep rising. There is no known cause...yet. I have hope though... that in my lifetime they will find a cause, but until then I will trust in the Creator.

Well, its been a busy week between occupational therapy, and speech therapy, I've been applying for all and any financial aide out there! It really does make my brain hurt! There is so much out there, and its all so confusing! I think its my brain is extra foggy because my heart hurts. It hurts for my beautiful boy. I go back and forth thinking I can be strong, I must be strong, I must trust the Lord, and feeling as if I could crumple to the ground in a heap. Now, I don't mean to be over dramatic here, but I must be honest. I have really been encouraged by the Holy Spirit this week, but I must be willing to listen! Sometimes I don't feel like listening, but He is still there, whispering my name! Its amazing to see how my Creator communicates right to my heart. I read this verse today, and it was what I needed to hear :

"Then (Job) fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:20-21

I read this beautiful passage by Joni Eareckson Tada that followed:

"God screens the trials that come to each of us- allowing only those that accomplish His plan, because he takes no joy in human agony (Lamentations 3:33) These trials are not evenly distributed from person to person. This can discourage us, for we are only able to see through a glass darkly; we are not privy to his reasons. But we can take heart that every trial is ordained by God from eternity past, custom made for each believer's eternal good, even when it doesn't seem like it. Nothing happens by accident...not even tragedy..."

Thank you Lord for telling me exactly what I needed to hear today...and forever!

overwhelmed...

Some days are harder than others... I'm not gonna lie.

Today we finally had our feedback appointment at the Children's Autism Center. This is where they confirm to you over and over again that your son has Autism, at least that's what it felt like to me. They present a graph, showing that your son's development is way below normal. Although, the did tell us that he does have some promising attributes. They said that we caught this early and the therapies that we have today really help. They cannot tell us the outcome of these therapies...they just don't know. Every case is different. He will have autism his whole life, but God knows the outcome! Whatever that outcome may be, it will be His perfect plan, and it will be for His Glory!

Sometimes, its hard to think on these things! Today, being one of them. Its o.k. to question God, I certainly wouldn't be the first! He wants us to have a constant dialect with Him. He wants us to tell Him our frustrations and worries. Its when we cease talking to Him that the problems arise. So, today I am thankful for God's never ending love. This gives me peace.

Its been a year...a year of unimaginable challenges...

Its been a little over a year since I last blogged, and what a difference a year makes! I don't really even know where to begin, but God is going to give me the words.

My last post was January 2011 and I was recovering nicely from my Pituitary surgery and cushing's disease. I am fully healed and back to normal! Praise the Lord!
Little did I know my next challenge was right around the corner. The Lord has His plans for my life and He unveiled them in 2011.

My son Dash turned 3 on October 30, 2011, and we had some concerns about his development.
Our concerns were mainly his speech...he wasn't talking yet, or putting two words together. I started noticing things weren't quite right in the summer of 2011 when he was about 2 and a half. He wasn't doing things that "normal" 2 year olds do. He seemed a little more grumpy and fussy for a 2 year old. He didn't like loud noises, and he didn't play normally with toys (no imaginative play). He also did not like going to the playground, where other kids were playing. He didn't like swings or going down slides. He definitely did not like the play area at the mall. He did like the pool, but if the kids got to rowdy, he became scared. We had a couple of family members come to us with their concerns, but I think we were in denial, or thought he would just grow out if it. In September of 2011 I went to the pediatrician to get referrals for the Children's Autism Center located in Westerville. In December of 2011 we had our initial appointment, and they determined that he needed to have a full evaluation, so we were scheduled for January of 2012. In January, Dash had two, 3 hour each, appointments. At the end of the first appointment they stated that he does have Autism. Wow! I knew he had it, but I don't know if I let it fully sink in till I heard the word.

What now? Autism. Never would have thought in a million years, that I would have a son with Autism. But, the Lord knew. This is His plan, not mine.

John 9
Read it. It has given me insight and encouragement!
It is the story of Jesus and the blind man! The Lord heals him from a lifetime of blindness! The disciples ask, what did his parents do to make their son blind. Jesus replies, "nothing, It is for my Glory!"
When I get discouraged and can't understand what goes on in my son's head, my Lord knows! It is for His Glory that he has autism! He is special, and the Lord loves him even more than I love him, which truly blows my mind!

Well, this is only the beginning! I look forward to sharing...for His Glory!

I'd better go, I've been on here long enough! Just wanna let you know, Dash, currently has stripped down to only his diaper, and is chewing on his sock, while watching Blue's Clues, and pestering the cat! Oh Dear!

Happy New Year!!! My face is Back!!!!

Happy New Year 2011!!! As you can see my face is back- it no longer looks like a moon face!!!! I am so glad that I look like my old self! I think that was the hardest thing about having cushing's disease! I did not want to go anywhere or even look myself in the mirror!!! Praise the Lord- He is good! Its amazing to see what God has done in my life in 2010! I'm so excited to see what the Lord has in store for me in 2011! I know he is molding me and making me more like Him through every trial! The fact that I have trials- shows me that God cares for me and my life. I feel His presence everyday guiding me! Its such a comfort to know we have such a loving and caring God!

I just recently found out that my Cushing's Disease case was one of four know cases in the world (because in 2006 it went away on its own- by no explanation) It was God who took it away in 2006. My doctor said that "just doesn't happen"- He teaches at the Cleveland Clinic and is presenting my case to doctors so that they might learn more about this disease! Its so good to give God the glory through this whole process!

As I think about this year- I think about this race of life God as set before me. He never said it would be easy, but we must have faith and endurance! He will give us the power! We must be diligent in praying and reading His word every day no matter what! We need to do what He tells us and obey what He says- this is my prayer daily. He wants us to achieve fully what He has made us to be, and I want that- I want to serve Him fully with my life!

Hebrews 12:1

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."

Lucky Charms and Plastic Spoons all over the Floor!

I sit here as my entire kitchen is covered in Lucky Charms and Plastic Spoons! My son Dash, who just turned 2, is very crazy! He's a very rowdy boy! I know I will have to face the mess sometime soon- at least before he wakes up from his nap!

Dash just turned 2 on October 30th! He's growing up way too fast! He's definitely a Momma's boy. He's loves to cuddle and hug. I'm dreading the times when he starts kindergarten, graduates from college, and gets married! I'll be rolling on the ground crying- Dan will have to pick me up and carry me out of there!

It's been such a joy to be a stay at home mom for Ella and Dash! Even though its crazy most of the time- I'm trying to take in every hug, kiss, and moment daily- hour by hour. Because I know this time (while they are young) will not last forever! Its such a joy to raise them! God has truly blessed me- I feel like I don't thank Him enough!!! My joy comes from the Lord- I always will have Joy through Him! Happiness comes and goes- but Joy in the Lord is forever! Recently, God has been speaking to me about joy- His Joy- I see the word Joy everywhere this time of year! It's a constant reminder- to me that- His joy- is all you need- for the rest of your life! His Joy never fails!

It's been way too long!!!!

It's been way too long since I last blogged! The Lord has been telling me I need to start blogging again- probably for some time now (maybe 2 months or so)!!! I don't know why I haven't listened- maybe just being lazy or maybe because I've been in pain!

Yes, I don't have Cushing's Disease anymore- but I seemed to have herniated a disk in my back! I have been in pain since May- The disk is sitting on my right sciatic leg nerve- I had to have physical therapy- and it has helped- I can finally say that currently I am not in pain!!! Yay!!!!

The Lord is good! He has sustained me and gotten me through! I guess I haven't written about this ordeal because I think I was a little discouraged- and possibly frustrated with God about my health issues! The Lord has been so patient with me! This year, 2010, has been challenging! But it has changed my life- my life with Christ as my guide! I know that just because I am one of His children doesn't mean I will not face trials... He is molding me a making me His own- and what He wants me to become- and its exciting!

2 Peter 3:18 "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever."