"Praise Him"

What day is it? Oh yeah, Wednesday, speech therapy day and preschool. My days just seem to run together now! Managing Dash's speech, occupational, and physical therapy is challenging in and of itself, but now we have preschool! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but geesh, i'm worn out! Most days I'm praying "Dear Lord give me energy"!

Since my last blog, Dash has started preschool! He was accepted into the R.E.A.C.H program with the Columbus City Schools! It is a preschool program for kids with autism, every child in the program has autism. The class has about 6 to 7 kids with 2 teachers. He also gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy! We are so happy for this program! A blessing from God! Dash has also started riding the bus, and let me tell you, he loves it!!!! Every day around 12:30 he goes to the door and waits excitedly because he knows the bus is coming! I'm soooo thankful for that, because it makes my job a little easier, more peace of mind!

Its funny how the Lord makes Himself known! Just the other day, I was really discouraged, and sad about Dash's situation. I know I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that he has autism. I have good days and I have hard days. Yesterday, I was having one of those hard days, but the Lord revealed Himself to me! In the form of a license plate! As I was driving down the highway, a car in the lane to my left sped past! I looked down for a moment and saw the license plate, and it simply said "Praise Him". I thought to myself, "Wow"! God is right here with me! He knows what I'm going through! We, as children of Christ, need to look for, and look toward Him in all of life, because He has message for us! It's simple. Praise Him. I will never forget get that day when He picked me up from the depths of despair. Praise Him for your life, your blessings!

My Brain hurts and my Heart is about to explode...

One in every 75 boys are born today with Autism. Staggering numbers, and yet, they just seem to keep rising. There is no known cause...yet. I have hope though... that in my lifetime they will find a cause, but until then I will trust in the Creator.

Well, its been a busy week between occupational therapy, and speech therapy, I've been applying for all and any financial aide out there! It really does make my brain hurt! There is so much out there, and its all so confusing! I think its my brain is extra foggy because my heart hurts. It hurts for my beautiful boy. I go back and forth thinking I can be strong, I must be strong, I must trust the Lord, and feeling as if I could crumple to the ground in a heap. Now, I don't mean to be over dramatic here, but I must be honest. I have really been encouraged by the Holy Spirit this week, but I must be willing to listen! Sometimes I don't feel like listening, but He is still there, whispering my name! Its amazing to see how my Creator communicates right to my heart. I read this verse today, and it was what I needed to hear :

"Then (Job) fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:20-21

I read this beautiful passage by Joni Eareckson Tada that followed:

"God screens the trials that come to each of us- allowing only those that accomplish His plan, because he takes no joy in human agony (Lamentations 3:33) These trials are not evenly distributed from person to person. This can discourage us, for we are only able to see through a glass darkly; we are not privy to his reasons. But we can take heart that every trial is ordained by God from eternity past, custom made for each believer's eternal good, even when it doesn't seem like it. Nothing happens by accident...not even tragedy..."

Thank you Lord for telling me exactly what I needed to hear today...and forever!

overwhelmed...

Some days are harder than others... I'm not gonna lie.

Today we finally had our feedback appointment at the Children's Autism Center. This is where they confirm to you over and over again that your son has Autism, at least that's what it felt like to me. They present a graph, showing that your son's development is way below normal. Although, the did tell us that he does have some promising attributes. They said that we caught this early and the therapies that we have today really help. They cannot tell us the outcome of these therapies...they just don't know. Every case is different. He will have autism his whole life, but God knows the outcome! Whatever that outcome may be, it will be His perfect plan, and it will be for His Glory!

Sometimes, its hard to think on these things! Today, being one of them. Its o.k. to question God, I certainly wouldn't be the first! He wants us to have a constant dialect with Him. He wants us to tell Him our frustrations and worries. Its when we cease talking to Him that the problems arise. So, today I am thankful for God's never ending love. This gives me peace.

Its been a year...a year of unimaginable challenges...

Its been a little over a year since I last blogged, and what a difference a year makes! I don't really even know where to begin, but God is going to give me the words.

My last post was January 2011 and I was recovering nicely from my Pituitary surgery and cushing's disease. I am fully healed and back to normal! Praise the Lord!
Little did I know my next challenge was right around the corner. The Lord has His plans for my life and He unveiled them in 2011.

My son Dash turned 3 on October 30, 2011, and we had some concerns about his development.
Our concerns were mainly his speech...he wasn't talking yet, or putting two words together. I started noticing things weren't quite right in the summer of 2011 when he was about 2 and a half. He wasn't doing things that "normal" 2 year olds do. He seemed a little more grumpy and fussy for a 2 year old. He didn't like loud noises, and he didn't play normally with toys (no imaginative play). He also did not like going to the playground, where other kids were playing. He didn't like swings or going down slides. He definitely did not like the play area at the mall. He did like the pool, but if the kids got to rowdy, he became scared. We had a couple of family members come to us with their concerns, but I think we were in denial, or thought he would just grow out if it. In September of 2011 I went to the pediatrician to get referrals for the Children's Autism Center located in Westerville. In December of 2011 we had our initial appointment, and they determined that he needed to have a full evaluation, so we were scheduled for January of 2012. In January, Dash had two, 3 hour each, appointments. At the end of the first appointment they stated that he does have Autism. Wow! I knew he had it, but I don't know if I let it fully sink in till I heard the word.

What now? Autism. Never would have thought in a million years, that I would have a son with Autism. But, the Lord knew. This is His plan, not mine.

John 9
Read it. It has given me insight and encouragement!
It is the story of Jesus and the blind man! The Lord heals him from a lifetime of blindness! The disciples ask, what did his parents do to make their son blind. Jesus replies, "nothing, It is for my Glory!"
When I get discouraged and can't understand what goes on in my son's head, my Lord knows! It is for His Glory that he has autism! He is special, and the Lord loves him even more than I love him, which truly blows my mind!

Well, this is only the beginning! I look forward to sharing...for His Glory!

I'd better go, I've been on here long enough! Just wanna let you know, Dash, currently has stripped down to only his diaper, and is chewing on his sock, while watching Blue's Clues, and pestering the cat! Oh Dear!

Happy New Year!!! My face is Back!!!!

Happy New Year 2011!!! As you can see my face is back- it no longer looks like a moon face!!!! I am so glad that I look like my old self! I think that was the hardest thing about having cushing's disease! I did not want to go anywhere or even look myself in the mirror!!! Praise the Lord- He is good! Its amazing to see what God has done in my life in 2010! I'm so excited to see what the Lord has in store for me in 2011! I know he is molding me and making me more like Him through every trial! The fact that I have trials- shows me that God cares for me and my life. I feel His presence everyday guiding me! Its such a comfort to know we have such a loving and caring God!

I just recently found out that my Cushing's Disease case was one of four know cases in the world (because in 2006 it went away on its own- by no explanation) It was God who took it away in 2006. My doctor said that "just doesn't happen"- He teaches at the Cleveland Clinic and is presenting my case to doctors so that they might learn more about this disease! Its so good to give God the glory through this whole process!

As I think about this year- I think about this race of life God as set before me. He never said it would be easy, but we must have faith and endurance! He will give us the power! We must be diligent in praying and reading His word every day no matter what! We need to do what He tells us and obey what He says- this is my prayer daily. He wants us to achieve fully what He has made us to be, and I want that- I want to serve Him fully with my life!

Hebrews 12:1

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."

Lucky Charms and Plastic Spoons all over the Floor!

I sit here as my entire kitchen is covered in Lucky Charms and Plastic Spoons! My son Dash, who just turned 2, is very crazy! He's a very rowdy boy! I know I will have to face the mess sometime soon- at least before he wakes up from his nap!

Dash just turned 2 on October 30th! He's growing up way too fast! He's definitely a Momma's boy. He's loves to cuddle and hug. I'm dreading the times when he starts kindergarten, graduates from college, and gets married! I'll be rolling on the ground crying- Dan will have to pick me up and carry me out of there!

It's been such a joy to be a stay at home mom for Ella and Dash! Even though its crazy most of the time- I'm trying to take in every hug, kiss, and moment daily- hour by hour. Because I know this time (while they are young) will not last forever! Its such a joy to raise them! God has truly blessed me- I feel like I don't thank Him enough!!! My joy comes from the Lord- I always will have Joy through Him! Happiness comes and goes- but Joy in the Lord is forever! Recently, God has been speaking to me about joy- His Joy- I see the word Joy everywhere this time of year! It's a constant reminder- to me that- His joy- is all you need- for the rest of your life! His Joy never fails!

It's been way too long!!!!

It's been way too long since I last blogged! The Lord has been telling me I need to start blogging again- probably for some time now (maybe 2 months or so)!!! I don't know why I haven't listened- maybe just being lazy or maybe because I've been in pain!

Yes, I don't have Cushing's Disease anymore- but I seemed to have herniated a disk in my back! I have been in pain since May- The disk is sitting on my right sciatic leg nerve- I had to have physical therapy- and it has helped- I can finally say that currently I am not in pain!!! Yay!!!!

The Lord is good! He has sustained me and gotten me through! I guess I haven't written about this ordeal because I think I was a little discouraged- and possibly frustrated with God about my health issues! The Lord has been so patient with me! This year, 2010, has been challenging! But it has changed my life- my life with Christ as my guide! I know that just because I am one of His children doesn't mean I will not face trials... He is molding me a making me His own- and what He wants me to become- and its exciting!

2 Peter 3:18 "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever."

My Fascinating Life without Cushing's Disease

I guess I no longer have Cushing's Disease- praise the Lord! I still have a fascinating life!

I can't believe its been over a month since I last blogged! Sorry about that! I've been pretty busy lately taking care of 2 kids during summer break! I've also been uninspired to write! I've been a little down- Due to the cushing steroid withdrawal- I know It's not my fault but I guess I've let it get to me- I've been feeling better lately-exercise helps! I've been trying to work out 3 times a week! I saw the Doctor at the Cleveland Clinic on Wednesday I've lost 10lbs. since the surgery in March! Yay! I might be able to go off steroid medication if my pituitary function is back to normal- I'll know next week when my blood test results are in! My doctor says there is less than a 5 percent chance of the Cushing's to come back! I guess anything is possible- but I'll leave that to the Lord! I've just recently read a book by Max Lucado that has greatly encouraged me! It's called Traveling Light- Releasing the Burdens you were never intended to Bear- The Promise of Psalm 23. He breaks down Psalm 23! Everyone knows Psalm 23- but I've never really thought about it all that much! He basically tells us that we need to lay all of our burdens and luggage down at God's feet so we can travel light through our journey of life! Satan tries to pack on the suitcases of doubt and fear. We need to lean on Christ like He is the Shepherd and we are His sheep! If we can't get rid of this luggage than we can to nothing for Christ- and as a Christian I want to do everything for Him! This book has definitely touched a nerve recently in my life. "He restores my soul" Psalm 23:3 I've needed this- He knows what I am going through and He is there- I can Always come back to Him!

How do I go to Heaven without dying?

How Do I go to heaven without dying? Ella asked this question this morning at breakfast! I said-" Well, sweetie you can't"- only like 2 people in the Bible went to heaven without dying":) Dan promptly looked it up and we figured it out! Ella then decided she would like to read her Bible before school! I am so thankful that I have children who are interested in Godly things- I pray every day that Ella and Dash would grow up to be mindful of God and have personal relationships with Christ!

Update on the Cushing's Disease:
Well, I guess I no longer have Cushing's Disease due to the removal of the tumor on my pitutary gland! Praise the Lord!
I am feeling better and better every day!
I do have a sore back- due to lifting Dash several times a day! He weighs 26lbs! Pray for me! I just need to build up my ab muscles! I have started working out- starting slow- I've been walking around my neighborhood- feels good but it wears me out! My face is rapidly deflating! Yay! I usually takes about 6 months before it returns to normal. God is good- thanks for all your prayers!

Pasta Boy!

Tonight for dinner we had tortellini!

Dash loved it-can you tell?! Ella's Birthday is tomorrow- we let her open all her presents today! We got her a Zhu Zhu pet named Fluffy! She absolutely loves it! She really wants a real hamster-so we thought this would be the next best thing! She is talking to it right now as I write this! She pets it and treats it like its real! They are watching Barbie in a Mermaid Tale together! :)

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Well, I can't believe its been 5 weeks since my surgery! I'm doing great! Every day it gets a little better! I'm still pretty tired, and sometimes nauseated, but I'm able to get through! My headaches have diminished- the Lord is taking care of me- and I'm trying to rest in His arms. Dan goes back to work next week- I'll miss him, so will Dash! I was changing Dash's diaper yesterday- for the first time in like 6 weeks- he looked at me funny- he was just staring at my face like "mommy- you're changing me?" where's daddy?" I need to build up my muscles- once again- in order to lift Dash- He weighs 27lbs! Dan and I saw the Doctors at the Cleveland Clinic on Wednesday. They said I can get back into the swing of things. I'm going to start exercising again because I gained about 20lbs. due to the Cushing's Disease! I weigh right now about as much as when I was 9 months pregnant with Dash! Its kind of frustrating- but I know that I can do it - I did it before- the lbs. came right off- with hard work. I'm going to start slow- by walking around my block- since the weather is nice! I'll take it day by day step by step!

Big Boy!

I'm so excited about this Big Boy Vintage Bank! It just makes me smile- I guess! He looks just like Dash! -except for the blue eyes. I found him at the Thrift Store last week! Its in perfect condition!Dan thinks I'm crazy because I can't stop talking about it! Maybe its the meds talking! I do love going to the thrift store and finding interesting vintage pieces- they are way cheaper than ebay or the antique mall! Anyway- its nice that I'm able to get out more now- growing stronger each day! I'm still pretty worn out at times- usually I take a nap once a day! Its such a blessing to have Dan home during this time- he'll be going back to work in a week- I can't believe its been 4 weeks since my surgery! I will miss him when he goes back! I'm going to have to build up my arm muscles so I can lift up Dash- he's 26lbs.! I see the surgeon next week at the Cleveland Clinic- they are slowly tapering down my Cortef- so hopefully I can start gaining more energy- and my face and body can go back to normal! Sometimes I get impatient- I would love to just snap my fingers and have everything go back to the way it was! The Lord is teaching me patience through this recovery- its going to take some time. I need to just trust and rest in His healing arms! I know He will restore me!

She's proud of him- and I don't feel like eating anything!

Just the other day Ella told Dan that she was proud of him!

She said "Because you take care of Dash and you pick me up from school"- "all of the other parents just 'smile' when they pick their kids up"! I guess Dan must do something extra special when he picks Ella up- she is a daddy's girl! :)

Update on Recovery:

Yesterday Dan and I went to the Cleveland Clinic for a check-up- everything is going good- I'm on Cortef (a steriod drug) to help me come down off of the cushing's high safely and comfortably. I can totally tell the difference between having cushing's disease and not having it! I can stay up past 7:00! Whoo Hooo! I don't feel like eating everything I see! And I think my hair has stopped falling out! I do get some headaches now and then- that's when narcotics come in handy!:) The headaches are due to sinus pressure (fluid in the sinuses) due to the surgery. Hopefully they will resolve quickly- that is my prayer- currently! The doctor said that the mass was 4mm and the pathology revealed one of cushing's disease! Good news because its not a malignant tumor- that would be very rare! The Lord is good- He has blessed me with so much! I will praise Him!

This man is amazing!

This man is doing an amazing job at being mister mommy while I recover!

He's got no complaints! It's hard taking care of a fussy, skwermy, wormy 17 month old at times! Poop doesn't faze him anymore! I knew he would be a good father- but not this good! He does get tired at times- I say "Welcome to my world"- but he keeps on going- and going strong! All without caffeine- I must add. He cut back on caffeine a couple months ago- he was drinking it all day long- now he only drinks about one cup a day! It just amazes me! God gives him the strength- I know it! I am so proud of him, and all he does for our family! The Lord has truly blessed me with such a wonderful husband! I learn something new about love, life, and family each day I am with him. His testimony challenges me to be a better person- and I love him so much for that!

My Time is Now....:)

My Time is Now!

Psalm 139:13,14

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb."

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well."

I am so thankful I live now- in the 21st Century!

Ahhhhh Technology! Its so amazing what Doctor's can do in this day and age- especially for Cushing's Disease! Back in the old days-like just 100 years ago- I probably would have just died from this terrible disease! My whole surgery was basically done through my nose and guided by an MRI! Amazing! Just 50 years ago they would have had to cut my skull open in order to get to the tumor. The Lord knew my life had to be now so he could show me his great and wonderful power! While I was at the Cleveland Clinic last week the Lord kept reminding me that He was in total control of my life- and He placed me exactly where he wants me! He never gives us anything we cannot handle! My time is Now- so I'd better run with it- He will guide me.

She wore hot pink nail polish to her brain surgery!

First of all, let me thank everyone who was praying for me on March 26! Thank you :) Thank you! My surgery lasted about 3 hours- they removed the tumor! I spent 4 days in the hospital, and they had to monitor me by drawing blood every couple of hours to see if the cortisol levels would drop to normal. It worked!

I'm gonna brag (a little bit) about my wonderful husband and best friend!

While I was in the hospital Dan was so supportive! He slept on an old, vinyl, squeaky chair by my bedside every night! I told him he could go back to the hotel at night and sleep- but he said "I'm not leaving here without you" - so sweet- what a wonderful guy!

Next- comes the hard part-the recovery!!!

Let me just say- Percocet and anti-nausea meds are my best friends right now!

Dan and I had to make a trip to the ER last night- because I was having really, really bad headaches and nausea for 2 days straight! I told Dan I'd rather have 10 kids at once then experience this type of pain! Well, the ER gave me something 10X stronger than morphine, and I could still feel some twinges-it did give me some relief though. I also had a CT scan- to see if anything was leaking. The CT scan showed that there was no leaking- just a lot of fluid in my sinuses. This fluid is just from the surgery. I was relieved! The ER later sent me home with different pain meds and anti-nausea medication - and they are currently working great!

I'm high as a kite right now-so it is taking me forever to write this! Anyway, I'm on the road to recovery, the Lord is good.

Robots, Denny's, and Country Elvis

Yesterday, Dan and I had a nice date to the Cleveland Clinic!

I had to see the ear, nose, and throat Dr. before surgery as well as get a CT scan of my sinuses!

They said my sinuses looked great, I had little ear canals, and if you take off your nose than you would just have 2 holes! I thought to myself "please don't take off my nose!" Well, actually they said alot more, but I've been getting so much information lately- my brain hurts!

To be completely honest I would much rather go on a date with my husband to Hawaii! I honestly could not get through all these appointments without him- he's my rock- here on earth! God is my big rock- in heaven!

Anyway- let me explain Robots, Denny's, and Country Elvis:

Robots- For my CT Scan appointment we had to go to the basement of the Cleveland Clinic. As we exited the elevator there were flashing lights everywhere and a track of robots moving supplies by themselves- we just had to laugh! Although, they did kind of freak us out!

Denny's- The place we stopped at for our dinner date on the way home! We are pretty tired of eating McDonalds (Big Mac Snack Wraps for me :)) for every meal! We haven't been to Denny's in like 10 years! We know there are some in Columbus- but not sure where! Anyway, we were way too excited to eat there- but it was soo darn good!!!! (Try the fried pancake balls dipped in syrup!!!!)

Country Elvis- We jammed to this on the way home! Let me tell you this CD is a great CD! If you like Elvis (like we do) and you like country music than you should get this CD! I know I sound like a big dork, but we had fun!

Ella's Picks!

Here's Ella's Brackett!

It cracks me up!

She filled it out very carefully- and circled the winner!

When I asked her why she chose Michigan St. to win it all- she responded- " Because Magic Johnson taught them all how to play basketball real good!"

Smart girl!

Ella loves to read all of Dan's old NBA magazines- so I think she is a little stuck in the 80's and 90's! Magic Johnson is her favorite player! She does have a LeBron James jersey and loves to wear it- she also loves the Kobe/LeBron puppet commercials- she watches them on YouTube quite often! I sometimes can't believe this little girl is only 6 years old! She seems so wise beyond her years! I guess she has an old soul! Although- she always says she never wants to grow up! I respond - "Yeah, me too!" :)

Here's the hair!

Here's the new color- slightly lighter more golden/ reddish! I really like it! It covered the two gray hairs! Yay!

Well- exactly one week till Surgery!

This time next Friday I'll be sedated, and hopefully tumor free!

I just got my pre-surgery itinerary in the mail from the Cleveland Clinic- it felt like Christmas! Really it did! I'm very excited! Can you tell! I have to see various doctors starting Thursday- I also need to have some tests like blood work, CT scan, MRI scan, EKG, and nurses appointments before I can get cleared for surgery. I know I'll pass- I'd better! I think the reason I'm so excited is because this disease makes you feel so horrible- I just want to get back to regular life- as quickly as possible! I've got kids to play with- and I need lots of energy! :) The Lord has truly helped me to have a positive attitude- its all about faith! Blind faith!

"He went out, not knowing whither he went." Hebrews 11:8

"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading."

Oswald Chambers

Livin' on a Caffiene high...or maybe a Sugar high..

Yummy! Don't those cupcakes look sooo delish!!!!

Livin' on a Caffeine high.... or maybe a Sugar high....

O.k. I just ate a bunch of chocolate- and I feel great!! Well, I've actually felt great all morning- I was able to get so much done! Dash and I went to Wal-Mart to get some cat food, baby food, hand sanitizer- odds and ends like that.... morning is the time to go to Wal-Mart... if you know what I mean! We also went to the mall and walked around- It felt really good to walk around- although I tend to get really hot and had to rest a couple of times. Anyway, I think I felt so good this morning is because I had a Medium McDonald's coffee and it probably had way more caffeine in it than I'm used to! Oh well- it was good and I feel great, fantastic, like I could run a marathon! I'm trying to think of what else I can do before I crash! Oh, yes- I noticed- now that my hair is short- I have some gray hairs! Well, maybe just 2! But that is 2 too many! Soooo I'm going to dye my hair now (just a couple of shades lighter)- the box says it has good gray coverage! :) I gotta look good for my surgery next week! It's coming up fast- the Lord is good! I will be soon on my way to recovery!

Happy Lucky Charms Day!

Happy Lucky Charms Day! (That's what Ella calls St. Patrick's Day)

Well, It's just about 1 week till the surgery at the Cleveland Clinic!

I'm glad- because I've been very fatigued lately! I've had to lay in bed and take naps- if I do simple tasks like going to the store or laundry- It wears me out! On Monday I had to have some tests done at the Cleveland Clinic ( they drew my blood every 15 min. for 2 hrs. after they injected me with medication)- sounds like fun- :) no, It really wasn't that bad- Dan was with me so it was like a date! Next Monday I have to go up to the Clinic once again to have a CT scan and see the ear, nose, and throat Dr. before surgery. Dan's glad we can have another date to the hospital :) He is a very special guy- and it makes this whole health trial much more pleasant! Surprisingly, I'm not nervous about the surgery! The Lord is helping me! He is giving me peace- much more peace than I ever expected. I know He will take care of me so I can once again be restored!

"The everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary." Isaiah 40:28